The Monster in Pain
by n0tafangirl
Summary: being hated for no reason at all, naruto doesnt know how to deal with this but takes out his anger on himself. A deep understanding of what Naruto's feels like inside - self-harming comforts him. Warning: Depression, swearing and dark side of Naruto!


**The Monster in Pain **

His name was acknowledged for all the wrong reasons, they all known him as the vessel for demon called the "nine tailed fox" – that's what they all said. The villagers saw Naruto as the main source of hatred. Continuously reminding him for he was innocent of, no-one putting his past a rest. All he ever wanted was to be treated like a human no different from anyone else, and when was he going to get that respect? Never. All of his heart warming personality was all blown away by the harsh wind, never to return to his core that was dark as a night. Naruto's life was all build on courageous acts always pretending to be the hero in everything. But it was all a lie. His heroic acts were a meant to put him out of his misery, but it didn't work. All he wanted was a simple request, death. He was itching, longing for death but it was so close for him yet so far away. All of the villager's hatred was catching up on him; they all blamed their problems on him. But Naruto wanted to blame his problems on someone else. He couldn't blame his deceased parents they weren't alive anymore. There was no one else to blame other than himself. The villagers had brainwashed him into thinking he was a pathetic, worthless excuse for a human being. Listening to this lie for years it was a shame for him to believe this nonsense but what he felt relieved was that he had to take all his fury out on himself. Self-harm was the only comfort he got. All of the tension built inside of him was gone when he inflicted, only for a short period of time after that back to being mentally depressed. Naruto knew this was wrong; he got nothing out of this. But he couldn't help but find this utterly addicting. He was fed up, all Naruto wanted comfort from someone else, how hard is it to get? Very hard, he couldn't trust anyone; fear always crept into back of his mind worrying if people would mock, judge or encourage but most of all the fear of being told by them is that's the sickening form of pursuing attention while he already has it. He was known for the wrong reasons.

Time through out the window, Naruto's miserable eyes were glaring outside of his bedroom window, observing in detail how the rain crashed onto the wet ground. Staring how the villagers continued their usual day, mixture of despair flooded his mind as his eyes witnessed the people who tormented him during his youth, calling him a 'scum of the earth' passing by happily. How he desired to smear their grin of their faces. How he wanted to make them take a walk on his shoes for change and see what he does through, day by day, loathed by everyone for being born.

'What did I do that was so bad? Don't they realise it's not my god damn fault for anything' said Naruto's inner-thoughts.

Naruto rested his head against the window, envying all the children passing by with their parents. He missed the love of his parents and how he was jealous of them. No mother or father just him and his thoughts, it must've been tiresome. He firmly held the kunai in his hand, the feeling of neglect and unloved overpowered him. Naruto pulled up his sleeve and roughly scratched his flesh, watching how the crimson blood poured out of skin slowly sliding down towards his wrist.

'You all longed to fucking see me like this, haven't you… if I disgust you so much just take my life away' he screamed inside.

All he wanted was to get the thoughts out of his head but they would keep returning, there was no escape. Naruto closed the curtains and fell into his couch and sealed his teary eyes. He left his arm bleeding, he wanted to sensation the pain of his new deeply cut. He rested on the couch there was discomfort in the atmosphere he just wished when he awakened he would be out of this living nightmare and be on the other side, were he belonged.


End file.
